This post is a part of #MomsForABetterWorld Blogger Contest at Women’s Web.
Modesty is a virtue which is predominantly appreciated. While growing up, back in the nineties, even I allowed myself to put it on the top most shelf of moral values. As a matter of fact, modesty became my second name. Of course, my family too (being the plain, ‘calling a spade a spade’ class of people they were), played a vital role in making me the self effacing being, that I am today. I have to literally scratch my head to remember, whether my parents ever went gaga about my achievements in front of even the most snobbish of neighbors and acquaintances. Those were different times and hence, I grew up just fine, merely thinking that it is distasteful to brag about one’s accomplishments.
But, today as I am a mother to a three year old, I do not feel the urge to teach her to be ‘over modest’. Let me tell you why…
I used to have a friend many years ago. She was fat and unattractive. But, she had confidence, oodles of it. She did not think that she was unattractive, she did not think that she was obese (just a little on the higher side, as per her). But what she possessed was a ‘high self image’. So much so that, everyone who came in touch with her gradually felt that may be there is something wrong with their sense of perception. She carried off the skimpiest outfit with an unassuming ease while we kept looking for loopholes in our bodies. And eventually, she found a soul mate, a guy who fitted the ‘tall dark and handsome’ adage perfectly. The only thing which he lacked (despite of being in a thriving career), was ‘self confidence’. He was shy and sort of an introvert. The friend of mine blew him off his feet as she complemented him and her ‘high self image’ rubbed off on him. They headed towards matrimonial bliss thereafter.
I am not sure as to where this friend of mine is today, but one thing of which I am certain is that she must be happy.
So, the one thing which I want to teach my little girl is to have a high self image. It might not help her become a successful person, but it will definitely help her become a ‘happy person’. Also, if each one of us makes up our minds to feel good about ourselves, half our woes will disappear. This is how:
- We will stop whining about ourselves and our circumstances and in the process, learn to take life as it is, that is with an open mind.
- If we will feel good about ourselves, it is unlikely that we will go on looking for flaws in others.
- A person, who has a good self image, is unarguably an optimist. He/she definitely will echo Emily Dickinson’s lines “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and never stops at all”.
- The one with a ‘high self image’ will never be conscious of his body and in turn feel utterly comfortable in one’s skin.
- “Respect yourself and you will be respected” says an old saying. I am sure, it must be coined by a person with a considerable amount of self worth. Indeed if you have a high self worth, you will have respect for your own self and that will earn you the respect of others.
Hence, in today’s world, wherein all of us are in constant spotlight, wherein all of us are posing away tirelessly to get that ‘selfie’ right, wherein tweeting those one forty characters with wit is important than actually meeting people and chatting away to glory, I strongly feel that the one thing which I would love to inculcate in my daughter is to have a ‘high self worth’. How will I make that happen? Well for a start, I will praise her when she triumphs, how menial the victory or the occasion might be , I will never make unrealistic comparisons and make her realize that if you set your mind and heart on something , there is nothing that is beyond your reach.
And thereafter, I am sure, things will fall into place for her just fine.