“Motherhood is pure joy. It is such a blessing to be gifted with a child.”
This is what a mom tells people when quizzed about how does it feel to be a mother. But, we all know thats not the entire truth. Being a mother is not a joyride and it is not something we thank God for everyday, as depicted by those corny baby product advertisements , wherein a mom (all shiny and wide eyed and in the best of her attire) is seen cooing and cuddling a baby (all cute, clean and well behaved with no iota of crankiness and ‘I rule you’ air around him).
Now, before you pass me off for a cynic let me clarify that I am not one. I am realistic and I do get pleasures in the little things and I do ‘stand and stare’ the immeasurable moments of happiness life offers. The truth is your life changes topsy turvey with the advent of a child in your life. There is no denying the fact that the feeling of taking your own flesh and blood in your arms is unparallel. The first time when your baby smiles or the first time he calls you ‘mom’ are one of those moments which you would not trade for anything in the world. But, then you also invariably make certain changes in your life after a baby arrives. You inadvertantly stop caring about your own needs a little less as the little one becomes your focus of attention. You let your career take a backseat so that you can concentrate on being the best mother to your munchkin. Late night parties, movies, plays become a thing of the past.
Being a new mom hinders you from doing things at the spur of the moment. Now everything has to be well conceived ,planned and organized. A child depends on you, who is to be fed , bathed and most significantly protected.
When such Herculean responsibility is on a mother’s shoulder, it is but natural to feel lost at times. There are times when you start wondering as to when the child will grow up and when you can get to be spontaneous and a little callous like you could be before becoming a mother. Well, first of all let me reiterate that it is natural to be frustrated, it is not that you do not love your child and so stop being guilty if you feel so.
But what I would advice all new moms is that- “Savour each and every moment with your child”.
Raising a child is the most difficult job in the world and it requires an array of sacrifices. But, hold on, the kid will grow up sooner than you realise. Thereafter you will look back and reminiscise those moments with him which may seem trivial to you now. So, the bottomline is take each day as it comes. Enjoy each and every second with your child. This is not going to last forever.
Do not be too hard on yourself and give yourself some time out and some “me time” everyday and do not harbour any guilt about it. In the long run you would not look back and think about the movies you missed, the plays that went unseen or the tete e tete with friends which could not materialise, but those precious moments with your little ones who helped you realise that you were stronger than you thought and that you had within you compassion which led you to care for someone oh so selflessly.